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  • Writer's pictureEliza

Life is like having a poop

Trigger warning: Graphic descriptions of pooping

My daughter is on the toilet and I am in the bedroom doing the food shop. She likes to chat and keep the door open. Pre-adoption trauma left her with a fear of being trapped in a room. Toilets are a trigger.

Various complaints are gently wafting through to my ears...

"Its just stuck...I am trying but nothing is happening...I'm just feeling stressed about it..."

This is a regular conversation in our house. I never considered myself coach material but I if anyone needs a poo coach - I am their person!

The standard lines, I try desperately to say with a straight face, can sometimes be received graciously and at other times cause anger. Coaching a toilet phobic child, on a toilet, trapped by a slow poop, is a minefield of calming techniques and negotiations.

"Let's just breath (deeply but not too deeply because of the smell). Open your mouth to stop all of that pressure. Wait for your body to feel ready. No need to rush I am here and you are safe."

I apply my various years of conversations with toileting specialists and my own hypno-birthing experience with my youngest. Down breathing making a j shape all the way to your bottom. Wow life has changed since those heady pre-child days.

It strangely strikes me as quite a profound moment. Perhaps I am tired and a little crackers this evening but there is always a lot of meaning in the mundane for me. Lots of my best lessons have been learnt doing the hard, boring stuff of life. Just like my daughter says...

Sometimes I just feel stuck, like nothing is working no matter how hard I try. Sometimes my response is to get ever more frustrated and stressed. But just like doing a poo, life is better lived gently.

Taking a deep breath, speaking to my support network, asking for advice and trusting that I have got this is the most productive use of time. Reminding myself that this is just a period of time and it will be over and life will be better again.

My new motto is created. I will sleep knowing I am utterly bonkers but at least considered...

"Don't give up during the squeeze but keep calm or you'll give yourself a hernia in the process."

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